I’ve been away for a while to work on a few other writing projects that has been stealing my focus away from my 1st love. I also went through a bit of a personal challenge for the past few weeks. A challenge that had me in a bit of tears… Okay not just a bit, it was more than that. That’s where the other writing projects stem from. You know me, whenever a significant occurrence transpires in my live, I tend to grab for pen and paper. Well, this was one of those moments. I’ve spent most of my writing time on…let’s call it a manuscript, although it could pass as a short story and I’ve kinda come to a cul-du-sac. I should be glad that it came to a point that I had no more to write about the subject, but sadly I’m not. Nevertheless that’s a story for another day.
Right now I just want to reflect on this butterfly thing and my title. Hakuna Matata. For those that don’t do cartoons (I totally do). Hakuna Matata is the theme song for The Lion King series of Timone and Phumba. It means no worries. Below is an extract of the song.
When I was a cool young one
(When she was a cool young one)
I worked in the colony, paying my due
Accepting without question the prevailing views
That a young girl’s life was one long grind
Digging hole, standing guard
‘Til it crossed my mind, I was wrong, all along
All that I needed was to have heeded
What a wonderful phrase
Ain’t no passing craze
It means no worries
For the rest of your days
It’s a problem free philosophy
A cool song, it makes you wanna dance and not care if anyone is watching. Unfortunately I’m not in that space yet. Yep, it’s going to take a tad more oomph for me to overcome this phase in my live. My heart feels a little broken. Does that sound too dramatic? Well, I am a self-confessed drama queen and diva…so yes it was quite a dramatic experience for me. This episode in my life has taught me that you should really follow your head and not your heart. It taught me that although I’m an intelligent woman with strong moral principles, my heart still wishes like a little girl for things impossible. I’ve really come to understand the significance of the butterfly in my life and how very similar I am to that transformation process. I’ve also learned that the secret pact that woman have between each other to have each others back, it really exist and you will definitely feel dreadful if you didn’t keep to it. I know that it’s intended for us to emerge from our cocoons when you reach that certain adult stage, but right now for me…I think I just want to hide away inside the warmth of my cocoon because clearly I’m not ready to be all gracious and angelic. The good news is that while I may boggle between stages for now, I know that acceptance and a shame-free future are waiting for me around the corner.
I stumbled upon this piece of truth by Steve McVey and want to share it with you. It made me feel incredibly lighter than my weary soul felt at the time. When I feel braver than I do now, I will share my story with you.
“You can’t disappoint God. It’s not possible. Disappointment is the result of an unmet expectation and God doesn’t expect anything. He already *knows.* We may disappoint others or even ourselves but we can’t disappoint Him. He knows it all. In fact, He has known it all – the good, the bad, and the ugly – all along. Nothing takes Him by surprise. He loves us anyway.
Just because God is not disappointed in us when we do wrong, doesn’t mean that he’s okay with it when we sin. Your Father loves you and hates to see you hurt yourself, which is what sin always does. The reality is, though, that it’s not God that punishes us for our sins, it’s our sins that punish us for our sins. Our own sins punish us. You may become disappointed in yourself at times but don’t sling that onto the loving face of your Father. He loves you at all times and in every situation.”
– Steve McVey