Put your hands up in the air if you have gone through “midlife-crisis” and you survived it with all your marbles in one bag.
I wouldn’t say it’s a crisis at all. I’d say it’s a midlife-awakening. An assessment of your life. Gail Sheehy wrote the book Passages, an influential book about life stages. She talks about the different ‘passages’ that women go through and I think that’s a more appropriate term. “At different stages in our lives, we have different priorities and when those priorities need to change we experience a period of reforming” she wrote.
When I was younger I always heard people talking about this midlife-crisis thing and I thought it’s some terrible sickness that your “not so old but not so young either” mostly men go through. They are confuse and troubled for sure and maybe a little scared for the balance of their future. They buy expensive flashy cars and leather jackets to match. They babble their way through important conversations and they are lost for a period of time until they wake up to find themselves extinguishing the one fire after the other. That is what being adult is all about after all. Crisis after crisis. But in actual fact crises don’t just show up in midlife. It was there all the time. What makes this stage in your life such a fiasco?
I think it’s all about your approach. If you see this as a crisis then that’s what it will be. Wouldn’t you rather want to celebrate and take charge?
I would instead think of it as an empowering stage in a person’s life. I think at this stage from a woman’s perspective, she’s very much aware of herself and her needs. She has reconnected with her true-self; a part that she forgot existed or pushed aside for later. She’s returning to her childhood dreams; remembering the plans she formed for herself when she was young and carefree. She is reviewing her life; evaluating where she finds herself at that point and if she’s happy with it. Measuring the quality of your happiness is something I think everyone should do.
I’ve also realized that when people refer to midlife as a “crisis” they could also be talking about the emotions they go through when thinking about all their disappointments and failures in life. I can imagine how overwhelming it may feel if you realize you’ve been unproductive with your time. How scary to think that you are half way through and you still not happy with where you are. That could surely be the cause of a crisis. Nonetheless I still think that it’s the perfect time for anyone to take responsibility of their being. Change the things that don’t work for you; remove the objects that hinder your growth. Eliminate those bad habits and start to look at new possibilities that will enrich your soul.
I’m fast approaching the big four zero and I’m not sure why but I’m quite excited about it. Surely no one is ever excited about getting older unless you 5 years old. But yet, I’m looking forward to this decade of fabulousness. I feel confident that I have done what I can to achieve what I have. I feel empowered to proceed with the gift of life and love that was given to me. I feel comfortable to move towards or retreat from any situation that do or don’t add value to my inner person. I’m not focused on outer beauty and appearances so much although being health conscience has become important to me. I have more time to take care of myself and yes I like feeling good about myself, but being obsessed about my figure is something I have never done before and surely not going to start doing now. I know what I want out of life more than before. I embrace my position as a secure, stable and solid woman of my generation. When I was between 20-30 I was concerned about what people will think and say about most things in my life. How I dress, how I cut my hair, my interest, my actions, how I raise my children, how I choose to celebrate and a whole lot more. Now I don’t really care what “they” think is socially acceptable for me to say or to do. I do what makes me feel good. I’m done with limiting myself to societies’ standards. Look the other way if you don’t like what you see. I’m proud of the life experience I have gathered. I am proud to soon be 40! Here I make the rules!! I feel fantastic and I have finally accepted all of me.
I have a lot more to say about becoming…40. Join me on the countdown and let’s see where this is taking us. #Excited